1. Read these FAQs to be sure I sound about right. Note down any additional questions.
2. Book a 10-15 minute phone or zoom call by emailing me.
   Please be aware that I work on these tasks Wednesday-Friday, so it may take a couple of days for me to get back to you.
3. If you want further references from previous couples, let me know
4. After speaking with me - or if you already know that you want a 90minute Ritual Design Session - you can book that here.
   What is a Ritual Design Session?
   This is a paid session of about 90minutes where I ask you about your desired ceremony, then I research write up a document for you, full of suggestions, inspirations, and practical ideas based on your vision. This is paid because it takes 4-6 hours of my time. I offer a sliding scale, currently of £150-275 so that you can pay based on your means.
   In addition to this document, I can also send you a quote for working with me to create the ceremony you've envisioned.
5. At this point you can use this document as your launch point for working with me, or you can take it and find a new path - it's up to you!

No, but that's what most people ask me about. I make memorial rituals and dinners, baby blessings, recovery invocations, menopause ritual meals, Please be in touch to find out more

No, celebrants don’t have the legal right to marry people in the UK. You’ll just need give your notice and book in at your local registry office to do the paperwork but you can save the important stuff like the vows and exchange of rings for the big day. However, it's up to you what you regard as your 'proper' wedding. Some of your friends and family will conflate 'legal' and 'proper', but really, the proper ceremony is whichever one you feel most faithfully performs the ceremonial act you're aiming for.

You can do this before or after the actual wedding (and you don't ever have to do it if it's not important to you, but it could be a good idea to look up the protections that are given to people who are legally married or civilly-ceremonied, incase you want those protections for yourselves.

Rabbis and legal registrars can attend your wedding venue, but they would need more control over the contents of your ceremony, and reigstrars can only carry out their work at a licensed venue.

It depends what you're looking for. My cost is similar to celebrants who work in a similar way to me, because we have a similar detailed approach which is part-coaching and part-design, and involves us really digging into what this ritual means for you, and making something tailor-made, which I hope will support your marriage for many years to come.

I am more expensive than a communal rabbi, but a communal rabbi may ask you to join their community as part of agreeing to make your ceremony, so additional costs come one way or another.

RITUAL DESIGN

Ritual design involves me listening to what you're seeking and sending you a research and recommendations based on what you've told me. There are some components of a Jewish wedding that we base our ritual on, but together we create something that is unique to you, and this takes time to research, develop, and design. I'll also help you to write vows, and work out how to involve people who you want to have an active role in the ceremony. We'll also think about what you might need in the weeks, days, and hours before and after in order for your ceremony to have the transformative impact you desire.

MARRIAGE COVENANT

As part of our preparation, I will work with you on the creation of a ketubah or relationship covenant. The original ketubah was a document of material wealth provision, sort of like the terms and coniditons to the wedding vows.

The ketubah that you work on with me is different. It takes all the other kinds of wealth into account (intellectual, emotional, spiritual, etc), and serves as a way of you reviewing in future whether you are each holding up your end of the relationship as you had intended. By the time you step into your ceremony, you will really know what you are signing up to when you say yes!

PEOPLE-CARE

People who work with me are usually trying to make something authentic and innovative, but they also want their friends and family to feel at ease.

This means that, as we approach the ceremony, I'm not only in touch with you, but also any people particiating in the ceremony, so that everyone feels completely comfortable in their role.

MULTI-FAITH / NON FAITH ELEMENTS

See the FAQ about this topic to see how I make this part of my work

Yes! I am keen for partners to fully represent their cultural and / or spiritual influences.

If there is a component that I think will cause discomfort, I will explore with you how we can adapt it. For example if you had a Christian hymn and expected everyone to sing about the glories of Jesus, I might encourage you to replace it. Similarly, I would not expect a non-Jewish participant to do anything outside of their comfort zone.

Yes! Whilst my rituals are based on Jewish ritual structures, I love finding the language that works for you. Ritual is powerful technology, no matter who or what you think created the Cosmos.

Yes! And I'm happy for that to include poly and aromantic folks, and for us to adapt the ceremony in a way that suits your specific relationship.

I'd say that if you're just getting married because someone told you it's the thing to do, then we are probably not very well matched.

Also, due to an allergy, I don't work with dogs, sorry. I don't want to sneeze throughout your ceremony!

Any time and place you fancy, so long as I can make it. I will encourage you to think about accessiblity for all the people who you really want to witness you. It's only the legally binding ceremony that requires you to be in a specific location.

Normally about 30-45 minutes.

Most people who are seek out my ritual work are not affected by the approval of the denominations who do not recognise the way they practive Jewish spirituality.

Masorti, Liberal, and Reform synagogues welcome people who are in relationships - whether married in a secular, religious environment, married in their community or are not married at all.

JEWISH SCHOOLS

It is illegal for Jewish schools in the UK to request proof of parents' Jewish status. Instead they may ask you about your communal participation in Jewish life.

MIXED FAITH CEREMONIES

There is no Jewish denomination in the UK which carries out a multi-faith wedding. Even Liberal Judaism will only call it a 'mixed-faith blessing'. However, many communities are very welcoming to mixed-faith couples, families, and non-Jewish partners and children.

ORTHODOX JUDAISM

An issue might only arise if you or your children wanted to be a part of an Orthodox community in the years to come.

The Orthodox Jewish community only recognises someone as Jewish if their mother is Jewish (regardles off sexuality or marriage status), but it only openly welcomes straight couples.

If someone were trying to join an Orthodox synagogue, a traditional marriage Ketubah (covenental marriage document) might be requested as proof of the mother's Jewish status. So, if you or a descendent wanted to join an orthodox community, they might question the Jewish status of yourself if your parents Ketubah is not Orthodox-approved, and they might question your child's Jewish status if your Ketubah in turn is not Orthodox-approved.